Hooked on Phonics Got Me Laid

On any Community forum* you will find a severe lack of two skills: attracting women, and reading comprehension. Of course there's a lack in attraction skills. If there wasn't, most people wouldn't have found their way to the forum in the first place.

A lack in reading comprehension skills is a little more unexpected. But, it turns out that the two go hand-in-hand. To explain what I mean by a lack of reading comprehension, here are a few entirely ficticious sample conversations:

PLA: "Wal-Mart has fucking everything, lightbulbs, TVs, pillows, pork rinds."
aPUA: "Pork rinds? I can't believe you eat that crap."
PLA: "You are never going to get laid."

aPUA: "Did you hear that John McCain wants to keep troops in Iraq for 100 years?"
PLA: "Actually, he prefaced that with the condition that we would only stay that long if our soldiers weren't being attacked. He was talking about a peaceful presence like we still have in Germany and Japan. And, Obama actually supports the exact same thing. His withdrawal plan includes keeping a small permanent force in Iraq."
aPUA: "Obama said he is going to bring the troops home! He's not going to keep them there!"
PLA: "You are never going to get laid."

PLA: "I'm sick, I think I got the flu from my vaccine."
aPUA: "The flu vaccine prevents the flu, not causes it."
PLA: "Actually, the flu vaccine contains a weakened form of the disease, and a small number of people do in fact get sick from them."
aPUA: "No. That's not what a vaccine is for. Vaccines aren't made to get people sick."
PLA: "You are never going to get laid."

aPUA: "Do looks matter?"
PLA: "Well, the answer is actually quite complicated. In short the do matter, but not as much or in the way that you would think. You see..."
aPUA: "So, looks don't matter?"
PLA: "You are never going to get laid."

So what does this have to do with attracting women? First of all, poor reading comprehension decimates the value of all the Community forums. Second, if your reading comp skills are poor, you won't be able to get the full benefit of the few books, articles, posts, blogs, and such which aren't cluttered with sub-literate gibberish. And finally, I find it quite annoying, and an annoyed Evenstar has shit for game.

Also, poor reading comprehension goes along with poor listening comprehension. Most guys get the reading and the listening pretty well. They understand the ordinary meanings of almost all the words. It's the comprehension they have trouble with. If you're a poor communicator you will have trouble talking to women.

aPUA: "But Evenstar, haven't you hooked up with girls who barely spoke any English?"
PLA: "Why yes I have. Good times. Good times."
aPUA: "So then isn't what you said just a bunch of horse shit? Who cares how my verbal comprehension is if you can pick up girls you don't even share a language with? This shit is irrelevant."
PLA: "See where I wrote 'you will have trouble talking to women?'"
aPUA: "Yeah."
PLA: "See how that's different from 'you are never going to get laid?'"
aPUA: "I still think cross-language hookups prove you don't need this shit."
PLA: "You are never going to get laid."

Yes, you can go to a club and just grunt at women and still manage to have sex with them. Maybe not you per se, but some guys can. For the rest of the world, effective communication skills make the job a whole lot easier.

There are a few reasons people have trouble with reading comprehension:

Inattention to detail. (They just misread stuff.)

Intolerance/Ignorance of nuance and subtly. (They don't bother thinking about why specific words were chosen, or simply don't understand what a different choice would mean.)

Impatience. (They stop reading carefully.)

Anticipation. (Once they think they know where the writer is going, they stop paying close attention.)

So, what to do about the problem?

I used to teach LSAT prep, so I might as well throw that idea out there. LSAT tests specifically on reading comprehension, so doing those exercises will help. Also, the logical reasoning and logic games sections are intertwined. The skills cross over, so getting good at these will help reading comp. Of course, LSAT prep materials can get expensive.

Read more. Reading is a skill and you must exercise to stay in shape. But, you can't just read anything. Read books by authors known for their mastery of language. I suggest starting with Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking. He also used to be a speech writer for George H. W. Bush (when he was VP under Reagan). The man is a master of his craft, and just fun to read anyways.

When having an argument with someone, and I mean a logical, debate-like argument, not a "I FUCKING HATE YOU!" argument, before responding repeat back the other person's position to them and verify that you understand them. Don't use the same words they used. Being able to phrase the same thing in more than one way is often a clear sign of true comprehension. So many arguments get nowhere because one person is responding to a position the other person doesn't even hold.

Those are the only suggestions I have. But, one last thing to keep in mind: If you can't pick up on subtleties and details in a book, how will you ever notice them in a girl?

That's all. Have a happy, prosperous and sexy 2009!

*This site is a blog, not a forum.