...an' then fuckin' 'em.
That's my new method. No "woo," no "intent," no "approach! approach! approach!" And guess what? I get laid. That's right, I do pretty much the opposite of everything you've heard, and I still pick up girls, even in places that get maybe 5 cute girls in a night. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I pull every time (or even most of the time) that I go out. I'm just saying that it's been working pretty well.
It will probably take several more years before I really know how or why this works, but here are just a few thoughts about this technique:
1. It is low energy. Your energy level tends to be lower when you're doing things that are routine for you. Girls pick up on this. If you're just chilling at a bar, low energy, and start chatting up a girl, she'll feel that this situation is completely natural.
2. Girls are less critical. When you approach a girl, you immediately set off her judgment circuits. If she comes into your orbit (though you're usually the one opening), she'll be more concerned with what you think of her than what she thinks of you.
3. You are social proofed. If you've been chatting up the bar tender, you're friends with the most alpha person in the room. Bar tenders have seen the same dance so many times, they make for decent wings. Plus, as a regular, she's in your house...kinda.
4. You don't look needy. If you're running around the room chatting up every thing that's female and warm, you look desperate. You have to be really confident to just rely on the handful of girls that voluntarily come into your orbit.
5. You give the girl a better narrative. (I will do a more indepth post on the role of narratives later.) A lot of people look at the bar/club pickup as sketchy. By being chill, relaxing at the bar guy, you take yourself out of the role of creepy, out to get laid guy. You're just a cool dude who knows a good thing when he sees it.
I don't suggest anyone start off learning the game this way. You will progress far too slowly. You should be going out to clubs regularly and being an approach machine. But, once you already have a lot of experience under your belt, don't worry about "how do I open?" or "what if I run out of things to say?" then I suggest giving this method a try.
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3 comments:
It doesn't look needy at all. Being needy means lowering your value and becoming complacent to her needs over your own. If one is running around chatting up everything - to everyone around him - it appears he knows everyone and extremely socialable and friendly. One of the characteristics of female to male attraction is social value.
You also have something going for you that many many other PUAs do not have. You have quite a distinct personality and in turn reality. A lot of puas are like stale bread and trying to be molded into a personality of some kind. Most have been so complacent their whole lives to other people that they lack a distinct personality as they are just agreeable (which is unattractive by default).
An opening line or technique gives one time to display his personality. It's not the line or the technique that gets the girl it's the personality. Let's say it takes 7 hours to get the girl - no way a guy can spout off line after line sooner or later the girl will realize who he really is. And when the lines run out - if he doesn't have a strong personality (frame) he will act accordingly and lose the girl.
"4. You don't look needy. If you're running around the room chatting up every thing that's female and warm, you look desperate. You have to be really confident to just rely on the handful of girls that voluntarily come into your orbit."
I guess this all depends on the skill level of the person involved. A master pick up artist will in fact appear as though he is friends with everyone in the venue (and soon enough he probably will be).
But, many of us are not yet to that level, and instead they will look as though they approaching only because they are afraid to miss an opportunity (no abundance mindset), and worse, will look like they are moving between groups because they are being rejected again and again.
doing what I described above about approaching actually lives up to your new method.
"2. girl comes into your orbit." Cause you aren't approaching her directly from 20 feet away. You are actually just approaching a girl who is 1-2 feet away from you. Since it appears you know the people next to you. She won't know any better. Even if you just go up to that other group and ask what time it is or what's the name of the venue. She doesn't know.
"3. socially proofed" - yep she sees you talking to that group you were just in.
"5. narrative &1. low energy" if you do the typical over the shoulder approach (not saying it's the only way) but it comes off this way as well.
Your method is pretty much the same as approach approach approach except you stand in one spot and convey the same things a guy approaching does (or should).
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